Replace Worry with Happiness

Pamela DeNeuve
3 min readOct 23, 2021

As humans, we are predisposed to worry. For some reason, we gravitate towards bad news. Have you noticed how much you read bad news, are attracted to information that makes you feel bad or angry? Why do humans find themselves wanting to think, talk about, or worry about things that make us feel unhappy?

We are drawn to upsetting information just like a moth is drawn to fire.

Worry is thinking about something you can’t do anything about. Or, thinking about something that probably won’t happen.

Scientific Reason

There is a scientific reason for this. It is called negativity bias.

Our brain has a natural tendency to give weight to (and remember) negative experiences or interactions more than positive ones.

Negativity stands out more. Psychologists tell us that “negativity bias causes our brains to be naturally and easily wired to scout for the bad stuff”​ and fixate on things that can keep us worried or anxious.

Here are a few examples:

  • Meredith continually compares herself negatively to her colleagues at her firm and is constantly worried, anxious, and stressed about her performance.
  • Peter has ADHD tendencies, so he has difficulty focusing and cannot seem to stay on top of his caseload. He easily gets disorganized. He spends too much time feeling worried and overwhelmed.
  • Haley is so angry with how she feels the management treats her as a woman. Her anger sucks up her energy and productivity.
  • Louis is worried that he won’t meet his financial goals. It is like a dark cloud hanging over his head all of the time. No matter what he is doing, his economic woes follow him.

What about you? What causes you to worry?

People primarily worry about:

  1. Work
  2. Money
  3. Status
  4. News/disasters
  5. Health
  6. Others opinions of us
  7. The past
  8. The future
  9. Our family
  10. Our children
  11. Marriage or relationship
  12. Lack of a relationship

And the list can go on.

Replacing Worry With Happiness

We are drawn to negativity just like a moth is drawn to fire.
Worry is thinking about something you can’t do anything about.
Worry is thinking about something that probably won’t happen.

Don’t Get Stuck in Negative Thought Cycles

We can get stuck in negative thought cycles. These negative cycles lead to panic attacks, ulcers, stomach pains, chest pains, stress, and anxiety.

It is important to realize that thinking negatively all of the time is not natural. It can take a toll on your physical, emotional, and mental health.

These habits can drag us down, and we lose our enthusiasm and energy. Worry cycles can stretch out for weeks, months, or even years.

On your calendar, start to log your positive days versus your gloomy days. Put a P for positive and N for negative. After a week, if your negative days outnumber your positive day, you need to take action to get on track.

I Believe this can be overcome

I believe it is vital for lawyers to retrain their conditioned and habitual thinking habits.

I help my clients with a pattern-interrupt their negative thoughts by giving them tools to:

  1. Rework and rewire their brain and thought patterns and learn to emphasize positive thoughts.
  2. Solve and become proactive with their major concerns, law practice, rainmaking, health, relationships.
  3. Build peace of mind, thereby becoming more productive
  4. Build their business alleviating financial stress
  5. Scale their practices, hire and manage staff to grow.
  6. Find happiness and laughter again in their law practice.

Remember your success begins on the inside and then on the outside.

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Pamela DeNeuve

Pamela DeNeuve - Lawyer, Solicitor & Law Firm Strategist to Increase Productivity, Profits & Engagement