Overcoming Perfectionism: 5 Ways to Break Free

It is a common belief that lawyers are excepted to be committed to excellence, pay acute attention to details, and exhibit high impeccable standards in the practice of law. These qualities are a mark of a first-rate lawyer and as such may be equated with perfectionism. It is no wonder that many lawyers embrace their perfectionism as a virtue for which they will be recognized and rewarded.

Law firms are a perfect breeding ground for perfectionists. Solicitors, who have this self-imposed pressure of being perfect hovering over their heads, rarely smile. Most of the time these lawyers are impatient, tense, and in a hurry.

Instead of setting realistic goals, these attorneys set themselves up for burnout, depression, stress, and unhappiness in their law careers.

MEET JUDE

Jude belonged to all of the major exclusive private clubs in his city. His community involvement was stellar. He went above and beyond for his career and expected everyone who reported to him to do the same.

What he expected of himself was not humanly possible. He continued until he was suddenly struck with a life-threatening illness. None of his accomplishments meant anything as the ambulance took him to the hospital.

All of the mementos of his perfect life, the picture of his beautiful wife, and the trophies and awards from his successful career were taken one by one out of the office that he was never to return.

Perfection and Lawyers

Lawyers always aim to do better than they did the previous year. They can’t afford themselves the luxury of making even the smallest mistake. The constant pressure of the big “WHAT IFs” hovers over their heads, demanding more and more excellence and disappearing into the illusion of an impossible standard.

Most psychologists say perfectionism is a LAWYER’S CURSE: The quest for excellence metastasized into an obsession with results. When an attorney needs to get everything exactly right, it can threaten their ability to have longevity, satisfaction, happiness, and lasting success in their career.

Too many lawyers are plagued by an unsustainable need to be the best at everything they are tasked with. Managing this trait is essential not only for personal well-being but also for professional success.

5 TIPS TO BREAK FREE FROM PERFECTIONISM

These five tips can help lawyers avoid depression, eating disorders, heavy drinking, tranquilizers, heartburn, indigestion, migraines, and even ulcers from trying to be perfect.

►Tip №1: Focus on Yourself, Your Career, and Your Health

Perfectionists are very competitive. They spend hours comparing themselves to others and trying to one-up a colleague. Be sure to make time to eat healthily, get proper rest, exercise, and drinking water. Take breaks every 90 minutes to stretch and breathe. You can as well go on a vacation,

►Tip №2: Lighten up

I often say to my clients; you are not performing heart surgery. “Your demeanor and stress level is as if you have a heart patient on the table, and your mistake is a matter of life and death.”

►Tip №3: Stop Focusing on Avoiding Failure

Concentrate on doing your best. The only thing anyone can do is to perform his or her best. Spending time avoiding failure is a negative orientation. Be satisfied with giving your work the best you have to offer.

►Tip №4: Admit That Making A Mistake is Human

Solicitors who think that it is inexcusable to make a mistake try to force an inhuman standard on themselves and others to cover up their imperfections. But no one is perfect, sometimes; IT’S OK TO BE WRONG. It’s part of what makes us human.

►Tip №5: Stop Nitpicking Yourself or Others

Determine a realistic level of excellence, which includes your humanity, making mistakes, and learning from them. Allow others to also make mistakes.

LET’S MEET FRANK

“I was raised to be perfect in everything I did. My parents had high expectations. I could never get a “B” without severe consequences. I was an only child, the hopes, and dreams of my family’s success depended on me. I could not let them down.”

Frank has chronic migraine headaches and digestion problems. If he wants to continue to practice law, he must find a healthier way to approach his practice.

I asked Frank a simple question. “Frank, when is perfect, perfect enough.”

He sadly shook his head and said, “Never.”

Frank made use of these tips and within 90 days he had a new lease on life. He lives healthily, found contentment and peace of mind. He began to enjoy his law practice again.

TIME TO STEP INTO A SENSIBLE AND REALISTIC PRACTICE

The clinical view of perfectionism usually involves setting excessive and high personal standards. Lawyers who stringently evaluate their behavior in light of a perfectionist impose unrealistic standards upon themselves and others.

So be ready to practice a sensible, forward-moving, and progressive law practice. Admitting that you are not perfect is a PERFECT beginning.

Keep your perspective. In most instances, your case is not a matter of life and death. You will accomplish much more and increase your effectiveness if you stop stressing yourself out.