In These Times Lawyers Have Meltdowns Too

What is a meltdown?

It is when someone loses the ability to control their feelings and emotions. Meltdowns can result in extreme agitation, grief, an emotional crash, or an anxiety attack. It can manifest as extreme fear, intense mental distress, deep depression, or hopelessness.

During a mental meltdown, usually, an individual is unable to function normally. They feel unable to cope.

Meet Alexis Who Had A Meltdown

Alexis graduated from law school at the top of her class. Allie, as her friends called her, looked like a successful attorney. She made sure to look successful in every way. She oozed success from how she dressed, her car, and the condo where she lived.

As with many women attorneys, her career conflicted with her marriage. She found herself divorced with three school-aged children sharing custody with her ex.

Fortunately, her widowed mother moved in. Her mother was a big help. But arguments about childcare, household duties surfaced. Her mother, like her husband, also complained about how many hours she worked.

It Felt Like The Bottom Fell Out Of Her Life

Needless to say, Allie was barely holding on. Then Covid-19 struck. She is very politically involved. Yet, the political hatred and rancor between friends, the country, and family tormented her. She couldn’t believe what had happened in the country she loved so much.

Then BLM riots and marches began after George Floyd. Plus, the children were stuck at home. She was there with her mother and children, trying to figure out how to homeschool. She was often up past midnight to carry on with her law practice.

Although Alexis soldiered on, she began to have severe migraine headaches. Her chest began to hurt, and she felt heart palpitations. One night after watching nonstop news, Allie had a panic attack, went to bed, and couldn’t get up the next day. She had all of the signs of a mental meltdown. She went to the ER, and they found nothing wrong with her.

The Meltdown

Allie was usually calm and collected, she lost control of her emotions. She was screaming at her mom, her children, and her ex.

The pressure increased the intensity of fights between Alexis and her ex-husband. The rage coming out of her mouth was uncontrollable. These fights traumatized the children, who began to misbehave.

Her mother had the news on all day long. Alexis wanted to throw something at the television. She was unable to function.

Note From Pamela:

Before we continue with Alexis, I want to interject here. It is easy for lawyers, and humans in general, to judge each other. We minimize others suffering. It makes us feel like we are superior in some way. But, everyone who is reading this article also has a point where you can break down.

Everyone breaks down in different ways. Some folks shut down; others use substances such as alcohol, drugs, or overeat food. Others lose control. Some individuals become deeply depressed. We are all unique so how we cope with mental breakdowns and overwhelm is different.

After almost thirty years of working with lawyers, we know how to help. We step in to help high-functioning lawyers who get to a breaking point.

Here is where we begin:

1. Lawyers in crisis need to learn how to meditate and stop their racing minds. It can start with ten minutes, but this is a great prescription. It is not easy, but we provide tools that help.
2. Some lawyers may need to get medicines from a psychiatrist. However, many of my clients can get through this crisis holistically without medication. If they can, we encourage them to do so.
3. Ten minute walks two to three times per day. Or a 30-minute walk twice per day. A bike ride. During the height of Covid, gyms were closed.
4. Organize the next day before you go to bed. When your to-do list is already prepared, meals planned, and clothes set out, it makes it easier to ease into the next day.
5. Find a way to create a “Well-Being Day” once per week. Sometimes it has to be a half-day, but you must DO NOTHING. Look at a movie, relax, take a hot bath, do something to pamper oneself.
6. Turn off the television. Go 24 hours without the news and then limit to a maximum of 30 minutes twice per day. (this includes devices)
7. Listen to music that you enjoy. It can be fun to listen to the music you enjoyed while in school. Extra credit for dancing!
8. Look up, old friends. It is a good time to ground yourself by talking to people with whom you may have lost contact.
9. Use the app Duolingo and learn a new language; it is a great distraction. Get a 1000 piece puzzle. Read fiction books or self-help books.
10. Give yourself a break. Your harsh judgment towards yourself only exacerbates the problem. Be compassionate with yourself.

You mustn’t beat yourself up. These are unequaled times. There have been so many disruptions, crises, and disasters from so many fronts. Give yourself a break and get the support you need.