How Do You Tell Your Partner They Are Wrong

How do you tell a senior lawyer at your law firm or a judge they are incorrect? Confronting a partner reminds me of a story I read long ago, The Emperor Has No Clothes

The Fairy Tale

As a little girl, I remembered laughing and laughing whenever I read this tale. The folly of The Emperor’s New Clothes was never lost on me no matter how many times I read it. Written by Hans Christian Andersen back in 1837, many of you may remember the story.

The Emperor Has No Clothes

The short tale began when two weavers coaxed an Emperor into allowing them to weave a magnificent royal garment for him. They appealed to his vanity.

The weavers convinced the Emperor,

“The finery of these clothes will not be visible to the hopelessly stupid and unfit. If anyone in the kingdom is unable to see these magnificent robes, they will prove that they are stupid and inferior.”

These enthusiastic clothes makers toiled until it appeared that they had perfected these special robes. The Emperor declared a celebratory parade to show off his glorious clothes to the townspeople, at least those who were not inferior.

All of the Emperor’s court and the townspeople stood by and marveled at His Royal Highness’s splendid new garments as he strutted down the main street. His dignitaries followed him.

All of a sudden, the squeaky voice of a small child cried out, “But he isn’t wearing anything at all!”

Everyone gasped. The truthful words from an innocent child pierced the emperor’s vanity and denial. He had to admit to himself that he was indeed standing in the middle of the street in front of his entire kingdom wearing only a crown.

Now the Emperor realized everyone had lied to him.

At Your Law Firm

Is it much easier to go along with a superior at your law firm rather than to expose them as being wrong?

Should an Attorney Expose a Superior as Being Wrong?

The question is how many attorneys, like the subjects of the Emperor’s subjects:

• Go along with something they know is wrong rather than risk looking foolish.
• Are afraid to rock the boat?
• Tell their superior what they want to hear?

No One Wants To Look Foolish

You might be afraid to look foolish before your boss or colleagues at the firm. Many times if someone disagrees with their superior they could be walking on thin ice and easily be humiliated. There are a lot of things that can go wrong when telling someone you work for, that they are mistaken.

A younger or less experienced lawyer can quickly be labeled as disrespectful or even worse, a troublemaker or afraid to speak out for fear that they might become blackballed.

Three Possible Approaches When A Superior is Wrong

There are five things an attorney wants to remember when approaching a superior or even a colleague when they are wrong.

№1: Be sure you have documentation, to support your opinion.

Example: “I read this Civil Code (holding it in your hand and pointing to the code) this seems to contradict what we have been using as our argument. What do you think?”

№2: Use Decorum and tread carefully. Don’t start rebuttals with, “But you are wrong.” Use a more subtle or indirect approach

Example: “I could be wrong, but I stumbled upon something that seems to contradict our position in this case. I sure don’t want the opposing counsel to bring this up. Can I show you what I found?”

№3: The discussion might go better if you ask questions about his or her conclusions and perspective in the case. After listening to their reasoning, tactfully bring up your findings.

Example: “Pete can you explain the precedent you used in this case?” Listen to them carefully then begin tactfully with the facts you have, “I read that Jones vs. Jones was overruled. Or, I am not sure that this is a good law anymore.” If you must persist, you might say something like, “I don’t mean to be difficult, but I want us to win this case.”

The Emperor vs. The Lawyer/Solicitor

Remember, confrontation is not a sport.

Could someone have prevented the Emperor from parading down the street in the nude? Perhaps.

You can keep your integrity and still advance your law practice by being an asset and a truth-teller.

If they still don’t listen, the error will be “their” mistake. You have done the best you could do. Accept what happens and keep doing your job with enthusiasm and do your best.

Making these changes will allow you to enjoy a long, satisfying, and successful career.

Make rest and sleep, relaxation, and stress-relieving activities a priority and force yourself to schedule time for your physical, mental and emotional

The choice is up to you.